criminalmarketing.info

1. Clarify the Motivation. “In many cases, pornography use is more about seeking an escape or mood-altering effect than it is about sex itself. Although pornography use often starts out as a youthful curiosity about sex, in most cases it develops into a way of escaping certain emotions and stressors. Looking at pornography can even be used to self-medicate depression and anxiety and to self-soothe loneliness or poor self-esteem. Understanding this can help cut through the faulty belief that being more sexual with a pornography user will reduce consumption, or that if someone is using pornography, his or her spouse must not be sexually available or attractive. In addition, understanding the non-sexual motivations behind pornography use can help a woman understand that her partner would have likely turned to pornography regardless of whom he married and that his pornography use is not a commentary on her attractiveness (even though it feels like an attack). Erroneous assumptions about the motivations around pornography use not only promote misplaced blame and shame, but also detract from holding the consumer responsible for choosing to deal with life's problems in maladaptive and harmful ways.”

2. Beware of Comparing Reality to Fantasy. “Many women will tell me they feel insecure and intimidated when they compare themselves to the pornography stars their husband lusts after. There are two issues here: (1) the destabilizing hurt caused by a husband's infidelity and (2) the dynamic of comparing oneself to someone who has prostituted herself in a pornographic scene. Let's look at the second part of this assumption. Many women believe they don't measure up to what their husband is neurotically and narcissistically seeking out because they think the porn stars represent a sexual ideal. This is one of the biggest lies pornography invites women to believe. Most pornography stars have histories of sexual abuse, drug use or addiction, mental health problems, failed relationships, cosmetic surgery, and/or sexually transmitted diseases. In short, the only thing that is modeled in pornography is sexual brokenness and spiritual disconnection. Men who recover from a pornography habit also come to this realization and ironically begin to “see” the beauty of their spouse as what they desire and need.”

3. Ignore Comments That Invalidate the Seriousness of This Problem, and Seek Out People Who Understand the Issue. “When a woman takes the risk to share this marital problem with a trusted friend or family member, it is not uncommon for her to encounter statements such as, ‘Boys will be boys,’ ‘All guys are into porn,’ or ‘At least he isn't cheating on you.’ Comments such as these not only demoralize and invalidate, but they also reflect a lack of understanding about the addictive potential this habit has and the impact pornography use has on relationships. Pornography use represents a serious breach of the marital bond and pulls sexual energy away from an intimate relationship. It is important to ignore comments that dismiss or invalidate the seriousness of this issue and to actively seek out the opinions and support of individuals who understand this issue well. As a woman sifts through the constraining and erroneous beliefs that compound the pain associated with a spouse's pornography use, she is better able to make healthy decisions and take steps that will facilitate healing. Although it is troubling to consider that an increasing number of women are facing this issue in their marriage, it is reassuring to know there are also a growing number of resources to support women and families dealing with this issue. With our continued support, the Lighted Candle Society will not only be able to help women get the support they need, but also be able to continue its unique fight against the pornography industry at large.”

We created a buffet table in the dining room....lots of pink...lots of flowers.  Tip:  My favorite time to host a shower is Sunday afternoon from 2:00 - 4:00 p.m., for ladies.  I find that the response is always good, and it ends up as an economical time to entertain.  Everyone has already had lunch, and they're not ready for dinner.  Fill the table with savories and sweets, and you'll be good to go.

With our floral design emphasis, the Coalport Sevres Group Luncheon Plates were a no-brainer choice.  I really like this set of plates.  They are all on the same white embossed blank, but there are numerous designs using similar flowers.  I set the table with a combination of the Reed & Barton Francis I and Reed & Barton Grande Renaissance forks.  They always seem to play well with each other.  

  

Over time, I've kind of developed a formula for these events.  Cheese and fruit...One of my favorites to prepare is Brie en Croute.  Today I created a teddy bear to top the Brie's crust.

 Up to my old tricks today...The flowers in the chandelier are merely a pair of pink Wisteria garlands found at Hobby Lobby.

The Williams-Sonoma White Matelasse Tablecloth, an eBay find, added a nice spot of texture to the design.

I perched the pair of Pottery Barn Mercury Glass Globes atop the Juliska-like candlesticks.  The Cookie Princess mini-cupcakes were crowned with mini cookies decorated with E monograms, flowers, and baby buggies.  These mini-cupcakes are always a hit.  Because they are tiny, ladies tend to eat them without hesitation.  I rarely have left-overs.  I served them in our Nana's antique silver serving piece with ivory handles.  I actually think that it was originally a fish server...not today!

  

Chocolate Cream Sherry Bars and Coconut Cake.  Tip:  True confession...the cake is from Sam's and cost about $16.00.  At one party I served a homemade Coconut Cake that was really good at one end of the table....and the Sam's at the other end of the table.  The Sam's cake was demolished, and we had left overs from the homemade cake.  Now I was born at night, but not last night.  I've bought the Sam's cake ever since, and it's always a hit!

I like to serve a variety of tea sandwiches...just in case someone didn't have an opportunity to grab lunch before they came to the party. For years, I had a wonderful little lady who made them for me.  She finally retired when she was 100 years old...really!  I made these myself, but they don't compare to the beautiful little jewels that Mrs. Beavers made.  Mine tasted good, but hers were tiny works of art.  I miss her!  The antique Dorothy Thorpe Crystal trays holding the tea sandwiches and the Brie also belonged to our Nana.

I had such fun using the looping ribbon over the Christmas holidays that I decided to try it again with a shimmering pink mesh ribbon layered with a pink and white argyle ribbon.  I interspersed the ribbon with sparkling candleholders from Hobby Lobby.  Some of them were used with candles and some of them were used for my floral arrangements.  In both instances, I lined them with hot pink glass containers.

The Hobby Lobby French Wired Bird Cage was filled with more flowers and featured our hostess gift for Edie Elizabeth...a silver duck bank.  The flowers came from my usual floral boutiques...Sam's and Homeland Grocery Store. 

More flowers graced different spots in the living room.  This is an antique pink and white vase that belonged to Nana.  Today it shared the table with the silver tidbit tray that eventually held a delicious hot artichoke dip.  Did you notice the flowers on the right side of the coffee table?...

 I always enjoy the opportunity to create an arrangement in our precious Nana's antique Black Starr & Frost silver presentation bowl.  It's probably my favorite of all the lovely things that belonged to Nana. We are blessed to steward it until it goes to the next generation.

Sans food, of course, I even had a spot of time to capture some candlelight shots the evening before the shower...

 It was a delightful day and a wonderful baby shower.  All this pink has me thinking about Valentine's Day.  Hmmm....I think that you might see more of these frilly girly elements next week!  Stay tuned!

I'm joining Marty from A Stroll Thru Life for  TABLE TOP TUESDAY.  Won't you come along , too?

You can check out KC's music at www.kcclifford.com, on iTunes, and on YouTube.  I hope that you'll take a few minutes and give her a listen.  You'll also enjoy reading back through her blog on this site.  The girl can really write!  Her latest CD is called "The Tag Hollow Sessions""  It is available on iTunes or through her website.  I hope that you'll give her music a chance.  I know that I have zero objectivity where she is concerned, but I think that you'll fall in love with her music and her!             

• Take a time out and take a moment to address the situation

• It is important to focus on your breathing. Is it slow, calm, and deep or fast and agitated? Taking a moment to slow your breathing down can clear your mind and decrease your stress reaction.

• Practice progressive muscle relaxation.

• Consider keeping a stress journal to help you identify the regular stressors in your life and the way you deal with them.

• Get adequate amounts of sleep.

• Exercise on a regular basis.  When we exercise, our bodies release endorphins that create a natural high. Exercise helps regulate sleep, decrease tension, decrease depression, and increase your immune system.

• Make time for you; go out with friends, read a good book, watch a good movie, etc.

• Sometimes, when all else fails, learn to laugh.  Humor can help to lessen the load of any stressor.

• Most importantly, maintain an eternal perspective.  As long as you are striving to do your best, you will receive divine help and strength to accomplish everything that you need to accomplish.

-Elder L. Tom Perry

- President Dieter F. Uchtdorf

You already knew that we'd be dining at the games table in the living room. 

 The Williams-Sonoma Stewart Plaid Tablecloth, an eBay purchase set just the right tone.

 This was one of my 30 minute tables...I grabbed what was close and easy to get on the table.  The green napkins had been recently laundered and ironed, and I hadn't even put them away after storing all the Christmas decorations.

 I seated Kathy on the left, with a view of the crackling fireplace...perfect for a cold winter day.

I was tempted to figure out how to build a small fire in the humongus antique copper chaffing dish.  Probably better suited for the back porch, so I chose to be conservative...and safe.

Flanking the copper chaffing dish are a terra cotta wine brick... 

and my tried and true Antique Barley Twist candlesticks.  Today, I inserted the pegged, quilted votive cups that belonged to our dear Nana.

  

The Wedgwood Queens Plain Dinner Plate is 11 1/8", and it works well as a charger with many smaller dinner plates.  I bought these through Replacements, and they are actually quite reasonable at $9.99 each. Tip:  Always check Replacements before you buy dishes on eBay.  Sometimes the reasonable shipping prices at Replacements make them very competitive with eBay sellers, especially if you are ordering multiples of an item.

To continue the color story of the Stewart Plaid, I chose the small ruby flash dinner plate, picked up at few at a time at estate sales over the past few years. 

Topping the stack is the Churchill Pink Willow Soup Mug, found at Tuesday Morning.  The Towle Antique Bead stainless flatware is our everyday pattern.  I've had the Green Colony goblets for many years, and the unmarked Black Amethyst Goblets were an eBay find.

No time to make hot bread, but I've always said that there's nothing better than a crisp fresh Premium Saltine Cracker with soft, creamy butter.  I adore this little  Copeland Spode Tower Pink split dish.  It originally belonged to my mother-in-love.

The Williams-Sonoma Green Pitcher was a hostess gift for a wedding shower that I hosted a number of years ago.  It's a great piece. 

 I'm all set and ready for Kathy to walk through the front door.

I always enjoy using my wedding crystal.  This goblet is Lalique Treves.